Blood Series: Yellow - Chapter Thirty-Two
Nikole hated the silence in the car on the way home from the hospital. She felt like Mehmet was coddling her, and she didn’t want that. She needed to mourn her lover alone and not have someone hovering over her every moment. She could see her home up ahead in the distance and thought about vanishing form the car and just appearing in her room. But that required effort, and she had none to give.
Mehmet watched her stew in the passenger seat for the entire ride home. “When we get home, can I get you anything, Your Royal Highness?”
“You don’t have to call me that, and no, I don’t want anything from anyone.”
“You said we stopped being friends long ago, thus, I should be formal. If you need something, all you must do is ask, and I’ll get it for you.” He was keeping his tone steady not overly aggressive but also not weak. He wanted her to know that there was someone around her strong enough to offer comfort, but not pushy enough to invade her space.
“Stop the pretenses, Mehmet. Do not act like you are the innocent one with all this formality bullshit. You left me back then; you used me for one moment and then vanished. At least Alec was willing to be with me publically. He didn’t let the fact that I was from the Royal Family get in his way.” She thought about that statement, unsure if it was even true. He wasn’t willing to come live with her …yet he had kept her in his home.
“You do not know what you are talking about, Nikole. Don’t work yourself up over the past. Let’s focus on the here and now and make the necessary arrangements for Alec.”
“I don’t know what I’m talking about? I DON’T KNOW?!”
Nikole’s body language came off as very aggressive and lethal. Mehmet slowed the car in front of the door, and Nikole huffed out of the car, slamming her door shut. He could hear her mumbling under her breath when she stormed inside. He had known this would be hard; it was why Nasir had given him this task.
Nikole stomped through the house and made her way to the kitchen. She could kill someone, but really she just needed something to take her mind off of everything. I don’t know. Ha, it’s not like I wasn’t there or anything, she thought to herself as she eyed the cookie jar sitting on the counter. She walked over to it and picked it up. Removing the lid, she pulled out a cookie and took a bite. She focused on her chewing and not the words that he had just thrown at her.
“Nikole, where did you go?” Mehmet called out into the house. Most of the Algula servants were off taking care of different tasks, so there was virtually no one in the house.
“Nikole, come on, being silent is childish. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. Come out.” He looked in the library and living room and saw no one. “You shouldn’t be alone. Let me help you cope.”
“Just go away. I’ll stay in the house and won’t leave, I promise. I’ll even tell my akh you were here the whole time. Just leave me alone.”
Mehmet turned toward the kitchen to track her down. That was where her voice was coming from. He pushed open the door, and he saw her violet eyes piercing him. If she could kill with a look, he would have been dead.
“Leave me alone.”
“No, I won’t. You are hurting and upset. You don’t need to be alone.”
“Do not fucking tell me what I want or need, Mehmet. How do you know what it’s like to not have the person you love anymore? You’ve been single and never had a committed relationship, so don’t try and tell me shit.”
“You don’t know me at all, Nikole; you know an idea of me you have in your head.” He stalked towards her, his words coming out harsh.
“Do not come any closer. I want to be alone!” she hollered at him.
“I know what it’s like to love and not have that person.”
“Bullshit. Now go.”
“I loved you.”
“Don’t…”
“It’s true. Had Nasir not told your abb about what he saw us doing, I would have come back for you, for more, but they made me stay away.”
“You are accusing my abb and my shebeen of banning you from me on the day my lover died!” She took the cookie jar she had in her hands and hurled it at him. He ducked, but the echo of the canister shattering rang throughout the kitchen.
“Nikole…”
“Do not ‘Nikole’ me. I’m done. Do what you want, but I’m going to my room.”
Nikole vanished and reappeared on her bed. She curled into her pillows and cried. What was she going to do now? The man she loved was dead, and the man she had wanted as a youth now said her baba had stopped them from being together. That day they were together had been so special. She remembered every moment of it.
She had been eyeing him for weeks, the way his muscles flexed when he practiced his weapons training, the way his hair blew in the wind while he rode bareback on his horse. She didn’t know him, just his name. She would focus on him from a distance as he would train. The princess didn’t dare get too close: what if he saw her watching?
One afternoon she was practicing using her sword against the wooden dummy when he walked up next to her. Without saying a word, he put his hand on hers, and then pulled her in front of his body, his free hand on the side of her hip. He moved her arm with his as he corrected the way she swung her sword.
Something was happening inside of her, this feeling, this hotness… She was unsure what it meant. She hadn’t felt this before, yet something about it seemed desirable. There was an object pressed against her backside, something hard. What was that? Was that him? She turned her head and looked over her shoulder at him and could see his eyes changing colors, yellow flecks shimmering in the sun. What’s wrong with him, why was he getting upset?
“Focus, you don’t want to be hurt by mistake.”
His voice! So deep and sultry, it was as if he was talking to her lower region. She thought she even felt vibrations. A few minutes passed of them practicing the motions with that hard object pressed in between her cheeks back there. That just didn’t feel normal to her. It was so abnormal that she thought she was even leaking. Why was she getting wet? She didn’t need to relieve herself.
Once they were done with the sword practice, he called for his horse and simply said, “Come, let’s practice riding.”
She hadn’t yet been on a horse for practice in combat; her training had focused on her skills with the magik that ran through her blood, not the on skills of warrior training. She let him take her hand and lift her onto the horse. She thought she was going alone until he hopped on behind her. He pulled her hips into his, and his arms went around her. The tops of his biceps were running just below her breasts. What was her abb going to say when he was made aware of this? A man, touching her breasts! Should she say something?
Before she could make any move, he kicked the horse into action. She felt that object again, behind her, along her backside. The object seemed to be larger than before and more solid. Maybe he had the shaft of his dagger lodged in his pants? Whatever it was, it felt like it was making itself perfectly comfortable next to her. She wondered if every warrior had to keep his dagger placed there.
He had the horse trot at first and slowly picked up pace. This motion caused her to rub her legs and pelvis along the horse as it moved swiftly through the pasture. He was guiding them, so she closed her eyes and instinctively laid her back against his chest. The wind was running through her hair, and some heat was building between her legs. It felt like the faster the horse went, the more intense that feeling was becoming. Her body was telling her to touch herself. But why? And what was this smell? Was that her?
They rode up a hill, and she was forced closer into his hold. She let a gasp out when she started to slip along the horses back slightly. His hand released the mane and moved to her stomach, pressing her securely to him. Her chest rose as she sucked in a breath. His hand felt so big against her, and it began to move some, move down! What was he doing?
“Do you want me to help relieve that pressure?”
How did he know she felt pressure? Was that normal when riding horses?
“Yes, please…” she sighed out.
That was all he needed, his hand went further down and started to slip between her body and the horse.
“Wait…what are you…”
“I have to touch you here to help you. Don’t you know about this?”
“No, I don’t.”
“Say stop if you are uncomfortable, but I smell you. Yes, that is your scent. I know you need help with this.”
She said nothing as she felt his fingers start moving against her delicate area. She started biting her lip, but the pressure didn’t lessen; it continued to build. He made the horse move faster, and with the pressure of his fingers, that seemed to make things worse.
“You said… would help…” she gasped out. Her need became evident even to her.
Her fangs dropped from her gums and so did his. Her neck was exposed, and she felt his mouth on the side of her throat, his fang tips on her skin. One…two…three and his teeth were in her skin, pulling on her, taking the blood they all needed to survive. Her body’s pain was unbearable; she felt so worked up. The moment his fangs retraced she felt something happen. She cried out, and then she was wet. She heard his name escape her lips. “Mehmet.” She was very wet and very confused. Had she wet herself? What was that?
“I’m so sorry,” she said. How embarrassing, releasing herself on the horse with him there. She was so mortified.
“Stop the horse! Please stop!” she screamed. He pulled the horse to a halt, and she got off of the animal’s back. She started to run away, covering her face. He had no idea why she was upset. He dismounted and chased after her on foot.
“Stop! Nikole, come back!”
He caught up to her and pulled her around to look at him.
“What is wrong? You didn’t do anything bad! Why are you hiding your face?”
“That wasn’t proper! I released myself in front of you! I’ve caused shame to my family.”
He was perplexed for a moment, and then he understood. She thought what happened to her was wrong. “No, nothing you did was wrong. It was great, and I loved it. Please come back with me.”
She looked at him; she could feel the tears in her eyes. She wasn’t sure had what happened, but she intended to find out. “No, I need my omm.”
She disappeared before his eyes, and he feared his death was now imminent.
Yes, Nikole remembered everything about that moment and the many days that followed, especially the talk with her mama about what happened. When she tried to be alone with him again, she felt he avoided her like the plague. He was the main reason she’d never had a relationship before Alec. Yes, she and Kevin had something, but it wasn’t a relationship.
Alec had given her hope in men; hope that she deserved what her omm had. And now he was gone. Her amm had killed his family, and she set had him up to be slaughtered. She didn’t deserve to have love, and now she would vow never to love again.
Mehmet walked up the banister and stood outside of Nikole’s room. He wanted to comfort her and be there to hold her while she cried. He could hear her heavy breathing and knew the unimaginable pain she must have been feeling. He walked down the hall and picked up a chair to bring back so he could sit outside of her room. It was going to be a long night, but he wasn’t going to leave her to feel this stress and sadness alone. No, he would bear this with her.
Nikole heard him outside and decided that she would let him stew. Part of this was his fault; he never should have told her what he had. Where did he get off on a day like today, bringing up what they had done hundreds of years ago? Fucking prick. She looked over at her closet with everything lined up and in its place. Alec had done this for her, his last act was to sweetly put all of her things where they belonged. No man would ever compare to him and his selflessness.
She needed to think of what she wanted done with his ashes, where they would be spread and put to rest. Maybe she should sprinkle them out at the cabin where he lived. That would be good. But that was where Leigh had tortured him. The land was tainted and the house ruined after what Leigh had done in it. Nikole didn’t know if she could go back there anyway, maybe tomorrow, or the next day, or in a week. There was no set rule about when you had to perform the ritual, or even if you really had to. Alec was at peace with his family now. Maybe at the end of the day that was all that really mattered.
Alec, I hope you forgive me for setting this course for your life. It wasn’t my intention. It wasn’t how I saw our future playing out. I’ll try and move on, but you will always be the center of my heart.
She sat silently as her unsaid pledge to Alec lingered in her mind. Hopefully one day, she would be able to forgive herself. Until then, well, nothing she supposed.